Almost Thirty

In less than a week, I will turn thirty. Thirty was my benchmark. I always knew that I would be a mother by the time I turned thirty. When it became clear last Spring that I would not be a mother by 1/8/2009, I altered my "dream" to settling to at least being pregnant by the time I turned thirty. No such luck. I'm on Cycle 15 or 16, I think, and I have absolutely no hope that I will ever get pregnant without assistance.

All around, women are conceiving and giving birth to their beautiful children. I've tried to articulate my struggles to some of my friends, but in the end, I don't think one can truly understand this predicament unless they've been here themselves. I feel like my life is temporarily on hold until I find the answers that I seek.